7,884,000 Minutes

Aside from my catchy title being a blatant plagiarism of the Broadway smash-hit musical, Rent (which will be released in theaters around Thanksgiving), this is the total time my mother has been with her boyfriend; and I started detesting his very existence just a few minutes afterwards. Now for those of you who have known me for at least a decade know all about the soap-opera-esque drama that has been taking place between my mother and her, well, “romantic interest,” let’s just say. But for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing my life to such a degree, I’m going to break it down for you quite simply:

My mother has been dating a married man for 15 years, blind to the fact that this man has done nothing but spin and complex web of lies and deceit that has fooled my mother……until now.

Crazy, huh? That’s right. Who would have thought that a nice chap like me would have such a messed-up family? (And it’s much worse than this, but we’ll keep our focus on mother for now.) But yes, this “man,” if that’s what you would like to call him, although I’ve thought of some alternate names, has managed to have a wife and a concubine (mommy, dearest) for a fifteen years without little resistance. Sounds like a Lifetime movie, and I’m sure it is, but I promise it’s much more interesting in real life.

So anyways, my mother has just learned of the fact that her boyfriend has added a second girlfriend. As if the love triangle wasn’t enough of a challenge, now he is juggling a wife and two mistresses. And for some reason my mother could handle the “estranged” wife, but this second gal will prove to be the straw that inevitably broke the camel’s back. According to a recent discussion with the woman who gave me birth, she has arranged to have a serious discussion with her fella, and hopefully this will be the end.

I can’t even begin to talk about the stress that this scum of the earth has caused me, and although my childhood has come and gone, and am nearly a college graduate about to enter the real world, I think I will regain a sense of happiness that I haven’t felt in a very long time.

Well, I won’t bore you guys with any more of this, but if you express interest through your comments, I will be sure to keep everyone updated on how things go. I know usually my quotes have a little more light-hearted nature, but I thought for once I would use the blog for a more therapeutic outlet than anything. I know many of you who read this are close to me, so perhaps you’ll appreciate reading that this run-on chapter in my life is nearing a close. Take care, everyone, and have a spectacular rest of the weekend!